Friends are a touchy subject among those in ministry. Everyone has different opinions and ideas of what friendship should look like with those inside and outside our congregation. But I think we can all agree on one thing- you NEED friends! Here are the types of friends that have served me well as a Woman in Ministry (WIM) and that you should implement in your life:

A Colette: A Colette is your cheerleader. She’s the one you run to when something good happens, big or small. She’s upbeat and always sees the silver lining. “Girl, you just got a new tube of lipstick? Good for you! You deserve that lipstick!” She will cheer you on when others won’t. She will be happy for you when others are not, and will grieve with you when others won’t.

A Jessie: Jessie isn’t your cheerleader- she’s your coach. Sure, she can be encouraging, but she doesn’t know what “sugar coat” means and she’ll ask you the tough questions. “Is it in your budget? Are you drinking enough water? How are you going to make this goal happen? Do you really need all those calories?” The Jessie may hurt your feelings, but it’s because she loves you and will push you toward your goals.

A Heather: Heather is just like you. She’s a fellow WIM, is around the same age, and the same marital and child status. The thing about Heather is she lives out of your city. Maybe even your state. Depending on the type of ministry you are involved in, there are very few people you can talk to about the deep stuff. That is why you need someone outside your realm of people to share the stuff without dishonoring your sheep or co-workers. You and your Heather have the privilege of walking though ministry life together.

A Cerise: Cerise is a WIM who is different from you. If you’re married she’s single. If you’re a widow she’s divorced. If you’re white, she is black. If you’re Asian, she is Hispanic. You get what I’m saying. Cerise is someone who you are able to get a different point of view from. If some controversial topic comes up in the news, you can ask her side and have meaningful conversation. You help each other become more well-rounded and epithetic.

A Julie: An older and wiser WIM. Someone who has gone before you in ministry and can pour wisdom and knowledge into you. She is the Paul to your Timothy. Julie can live close by or she can be across the country. But wherever she lives, she is just a phone call away and you know every conversation will be a mic drop of wisdom.

A Chelsea: Chelsea is someone you can be a Julie to. She is the Timothy to your Paul. Chelsea is most likely younger than you, but she doesn’t have to be. However, you have been in ministry longer and you get to pour into her sharing your wisdom and walking her through her tough times.

A Jenny: Jenny is your hometown bestie and adventurous friend. When you say, “Lets go to Florida for the weekend,” she says, “What time do we leave? I just need to get a sitter.” Jenny is the one who’s house you can show up to close to bedtime for a cup of tea. Yes, you can do all the fun crazy stuff, but you can also curl up on the couch in your jammies and share the deepest God-changing life events over pints of ice cream. It’s nice if Jenny does not attend the church you serve, but is not mandatory.

Of course, all of these friends can be combined. If you have a Heather that is also a Colette that’s ok! Your Chelsea can also be your Cerise. I’m sure there are other types of friendships, but these friends have been life changing and life savers for me. What type of friends would you add to the list? Let me know!