I can’t get out of bed.
I have no motivation.
I’m so tired all the time.

Sound familiar?
I remember when I first became a pastor I was warned about how easily depression happens. I thought, This does not apply to me. I’m only part-time.

But the last few years have been hard. I was struggling to stay motivated and even get out of bed. I couldn’t figure out why until my husband approached me while I sat teary-eyed in my bed entrapped by Netflix. My former social worker husband said, I used to screen people for depression for a living. You need help.

After a while I realized I had what is called Low-Grade Depression. It isn’t full blown depression, but in a way, it’s trickier. Why? Because it’s harder to detect and gets overlooked.
So how do you know if you have it?

No Motivation. Are you normally a motivated person? But now procrastination is your middle name. You loved working hard but now you avoid it at all cost. I used to be the person that barely watched any TV. But in one year I binged all 15 seasons of Criminal Minds . . . three times. My motivation for everything I once loved was gone.

Can’t Get Out of Bed or Lack of Sleep. I’ve seen this a lot. It used to be exciting to get up and face the day. Not only did I lack motivation, but I didn’t see the purpose of getting out of bed in the morning. And you? Maybe you are now running behind and your kids are often late for school or other activities. Or maybe your sleep patterns are completely off and you now have insomnia.

Rapid Weight Gain or Loss. I’m not going to lie. The compliments on how nice I looked due to the weight loss was nice. But when I was asked how I lost it, I couldn’t bring myself to say, Well, I’m just not eating. Or maybe you’ve gained weight. You keep reaching for snacks when you normally wouldn’t because it’s what comforts you.

If any of these sound familiar, then as my husband said, you need help. Seek and confide in a colleague for accountability and get a counselor. All pastors should see a counselor or therapist. I’m still working through this myself. I don’t want to be overdramatic, but I also don’t want to push it aside. I want to be myself again, and you should too.
I love you.