As I saw all the nasty comments and opinions on a child in a gorilla pen, all I could think was, “That would’ve been my son.”
As I watched all the news postings of a child eaten by an alligator, all I could think was, “That could’ve been mine son.”
Every time I see parents get mad at another mom who accidently locked their child in a car, I think, “Yep. Been there.”
Mommy Wars. A term not new to our ears. But why? As Christians we know the root of it has to do with women’s identity in Christ. Nonbelievers have no clue what this even means. We, as ministers understand that moms (and women in general) compare themselves with other women constantly. But insecurities have been around since Eve, so why now? If a child in the 50s or 60s went missing, our first thought was never, “Where were you, parent?” Our thought was to help. We were on their team. Now, moms are rivals.
My ‘mommy war’ theory. One:
We don’t have that many kids anymore. Back when it wasn’t unusual for a parent to have 6-14 kids, you weren’t concerned about how everyone else was raising their kids because you were too busy trying to keep your army in line. With families having only one or two kids (not judging, I only have three) we have more time (though it doesn’t feel like it) to have our thoughts wander upon other moms who look like they have it all together. I like a meme I saw on Facebook. It went something like this, “Mother Theresa didn’t worry about the size of her thighs. She had stuff to do.” Maybe we should make one that says, “My great-grandmother didn’t worry about the As her children didn’t get. She had stuff to do.”
When we have fewer children, we don’t realize how many differences there are in each child. After having three, I realized how little I don’t know. I also know my first two are complete opposites, but how is it with a third child you can have three opposites? I wouldn’t know that unless I hadn’t had the third baby. On that note, I have no desire for another. I don’t think I could handle a fourth personality.
Two:
We are the most affluent, thus, materialistic generation- EVER. I’m not against money. Money is what funds the Kingdom. It’s what puts a roof over our heads and food in our stomach. But we are not to serve two masters.
We say our culture is full of poor, but poverty is relative. Never in history have the poor in the U.S. had cable TV, multiple cars, free education, and morbid obesity. When I walk into a single parent home (some not all, no stone throwing here) I see several gaming systems as well as a wall of games. How can the poor afford all of these luxuries? Because for most, poverty is a mindset. More stuff I have, the better I feel compared to everyone else.
With our drive for more and bigger- more cars, bigger houses, bigger vacations, more stuff- we’ve lost our focus. When we use our money for Kingdom purposes, we become outward focused. When our focus is to get more and bigger, we become inward focused. Inward focus causes more comparison, thus-more mommy wars.
Since we are not struggling to get by like our Great Depression relatives, our focus and energy goes towards things that have nothing to do with our salvation- like comparing children. Back then they were worried if they were even going to eat, now we worry if something has GMOs.
The less kids a society has the more we compare, the more money our society has, the more we compare. Again, I’m not against less kids and more money- as long as our focus is in the right place.
PRAY WITH ME SISTERS
“God, I thank you for how you have blessed me and my family. I thank you for giving me insight into the lives of women and parents in our culture. Please help me to keep my focus as I help others keep their focus. Help me to seek first the Kingdom, always. In Jesus Name, AMEN.”
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